That's the cycle of my life every year that somehow makes me feeling a bit of tired, and a bit of 'don't know how to describe feelings...' This cycle has revolved me for the past 9 years and sometimes when I am in daze, I asked myself, is this what I want?
I don't feel tired of teaching of course because I like kids and I like teaching but... there is something that bothers me always and a lot... Well, I am just an ordinary person. So, like any other ordinary people all over the world, we have our own unsolved problems...
Some choose to travel to relax themselves and to enjoy themselves. Some just ignore the problems and pretend as if everything is under control but when it comes to a break point... illness comes after them. Some just take a nap to forget everything and so on...
I don't have the chance to travel much, so the first doesn't describe me. The later just fitted me well because somehow I am feeling as if I am going to fall apart soon... Is this the symptom of depression?? However, to others, I don't look like one of that. I am way far normal than that.
So, I guess I am just too sentimental, too emotional. I am still able to control myself now. At least when I was feeling very very down, I tried to release myself by any methods that I can think of to do... Playing piano, playing violin, or simply just take a nap. Shopping?? No, this method will only make me more depressed...
I guess I just have to do something to make myself happier?? Well, I think all I need is a good rest... But there is still a lot that I want to do and have to do... Just what I want?? I am confused... really... haiz...
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